Orgasm control
Definition
Orgasm control is a form of BDSM play in which the Dominant consciously takes control over whether or not to allow an orgasm. This can mean delaying, prohibiting, enforcing, or precisely timing a climax. The sub thereby relinquishes a deep sense of sexual control.
Explanation of orgasm control
Orgasm control comes in various forms, all of which revolve around the same core idea:
the Dominant determines when and whether the sub is allowed to climax.
This form of power play can be tender, challenging, sadistic, or playful, depending on the relationship and the tension that is built up.
Common forms are:
- Edging: bringing the sub to the brink of orgasm and then stopping.
- Tease & denial: prolonged arousal without actual release.
- Forced orgasm: the Dominant allows the sub to climax, often repeatedly and sometimes to the point of overstimulation.
- Control via toys: vibrators, wand massagers, or remote-controlled toys under the direction of the Dominant.
For many submissives, orgasm control is mentally more powerful than physical stimulation. The tension of waiting, having to, wanting, not being allowed or having to makes the experience much more profound. This can lead to:
- intense desire and longing
- increased sensitivity of the body
- emotional surrender
- strong connection with the Dominant
For Dominants, it is a way to build tension, discipline, and devotion. Some use it as training, others as a game or as part of a longer D/s structure.
Safety & points of attention
Although orgasm control seems relatively safe, it requires strong communication and psychological care.
Build tension gradually; intense edging or denial can evoke many emotions.
Make sure the sub does not experience physical pain by building up tension for too long (men can experience “blue balls,” women can experience overstimulation or cramps).
With forced orgasms: be aware of nerve overload, especially with powerful toys.
Discuss in advance whether ejaculation in the mouth, on the body, or in the cage is allowed; this is also part of control.
Be aware of mental reactions: denial can trigger feelings of frustration or sadness.
Do not use orgasm control as punishment in an unsafe emotional atmosphere – it is a power game, not a means of manipulation.
Provide aftercare afterwards, especially in the case of prolonged denial. Releasing tension can cause unexpected emotions.
Related terms orgasm control
Chastity
Edging
Forced orgasm
Chastity belt
Orgasm
Ruined orgasm
Slubb
Tease & denial
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