Autoeroticism
Definition
Autoeroticism refers to sexual arousal or satisfaction that one induces in oneself, without the direct involvement of another person. Within BDSM and kink, it often involves fantasy, self-stimulation, toys, self-bondage, or even dangerous techniques such as breath reduction. Autoeroticism is an intimate, personal form of play that requires a balance between surrender and self-control.
Explanation of autoeroticism
Autoeroticism is more than just masturbation. For many kinksters, it is a moment of self-exploration, self-love, or even self-submission. Think of wearing a butt plug while cleaning, handcuffing yourself and waiting for a timer to go off, or immersing yourself in fantasies in which you are controlled—while you yourself direct the scenario.
Autoeroticism often takes place in the mind. The fantasy of someone else seeing, punishing, instructing, or owning you, when in reality you are alone, can be just as exciting as a real session. Many submissives use autoeroticism as a mental bridge between sessions or as an exercise in obedience. Dominants sometimes use it to test their control over themselves or to prepare for a game.
Within BDSM circles, autoeroticism is also used as:
- self-discipline (e.g., rules for masturbating, or abstinence)
- mental role-play (“I must offer myself to Mistress like this”)
- self-training (anal training, chastity, posture exercises)
- ritual play (preparing yourself for a meeting or as a sign of devotion)
- mental reconstruction (reliving or processing a previous session through solo play)
Autoeroticism often requires even more self-awareness than play with another person. You are both top and sub, witness and participant at the same time. That makes it powerful, but also risky if you don’t set boundaries.
Safety & points of attention
Although autoeroticism seems safe in principle (after all, you are alone), the risk lies precisely in that isolation. There is no one to intervene if something goes wrong.
Be extra alert during risky play
Do you play with breath, bondage, electro, or temperature? Don’t do this alone, or make sure you have absolutely safe emergency systems in place.
Set an end time
Use timers, alarm systems, or check-ins for longer rituals or play sessions. Especially when you enter subspace, you can lose track of time.
Do not combine with alcohol or drugs
Consciousness and body control are crucial. Even a glass of wine can affect your judgment.
Ensure good hygiene and toys
You may be playing alone, but that does not mean you should be careless with your body. Give yourself the same care you would give a partner.
Most accidents involving breath reduction or constriction occur during solo autoerotic play. Avoid anything that restricts oxygen, blood flow, or freedom of movement without supervision.
Related terms autoeroticism
Self-bondage
Masturbation
Self-gratification
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