Dacryfilie
Definition
Dacryphilia is a sexual or emotional attraction to tears, crying, or visible emotional release. Within BDSM, it refers to finding tears caused by intense emotion, surrender, or tension exciting or meaningful, not necessarily physical pain.
Explanation of dacryphilia
Within BDSM, dacryphilia is often misunderstood as a desire to make someone cry. In practice, the emphasis is usually not on causing sadness, but on the emotional openness and vulnerability that becomes visible when someone cries. Tears can arise from overwhelm, release, deep surrender, or letting go of control.
For some Dominants or spectators, tears symbolize authenticity and complete surrender. For subs, crying can be a sign of safety: the moment when tension, shame, pain, or emotion can be released. Dacryphilia occurs in both gentle and more intense dynamics and can be combined with emotional play, discipline, humiliation, or deep connection.
It is important to note that dacryphilia does not automatically coincide with hard or transgressive play. In healthy dynamics, tears are not forced, but arise as a result of a process in which trust, attunement, and care are central.
Safety & points of attention
Tears can have different causes, and not all crying is desirable or safe. It is essential to distinguish between crying out of surrender and crying out of distress, fear, or transgression.
Clear communication, recognizing signals, and good aftercare are crucial.
When tears arise, there must always be room to pause, attune, and possibly stop.
Romanticizing or fetishizing emotional pain without care or context can be psychologically harmful.
Related concepts dacryphilia
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