Safety call
Definition
A safety call is a prearranged contact moment with a trusted person (usually outside the scene) to confirm that a BDSM session, appointment, or meeting has proceeded safely. It is used for dates with new partners, online contacts, or situations in which extra security is desired.
Explanation of a safety call
A safety call is a simple but important safety measure, especially when you meet someone for the first time for BDSM, kink, or a private session. You agree with a friend, partner, or other trusted person that you will contact them at a certain time – by phone, text, or voice memo – to let them know that everything is okay.
If there is no contact, or if something is wrong, this person knows that something may be wrong and can take action. This can range from simply making a phone call to, in serious situations, passing on the location to emergency services (based on information shared in advance).
Peace of mind
Safety calls are widely used by female Dominants, commercial Mistresses, subs visiting someone for the first time, and anyone meeting up with strangers. It gives you peace of mind: you know that someone is watching in the background, without interfering with the session.
It is not a sign of mistrust towards the other person, but a form of mature precaution. A safety call is part of a broader package of safety measures, such as sharing your location, making clear agreements, and discussing expectations in advance.
Safety & points of attention
Agree on the time in advance. Both for contact and for a possible follow-up call. Share the location and name of the person you are meeting, if you feel comfortable doing so.
Make sure the confidant knows what to do if you do not respond (call, text, check address). Choose someone you trust. Someone who remains calm and does not overreact.
Use clear code words if you cannot speak freely.
Let the other person know that you have a safety call. This often deters unsafe individuals.
Use it even if you are Dominant. Safety applies to all roles.
Related terms safety call
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