Safeword
Definition
A safeword is a prearranged word or signal that a participant in BDSM play can use to immediately and unambiguously indicate that the play should stop or be modified. It is an essential tool for safety, communication, and consent.
Explanation of safeword
In BDSM, a safeword is an absolute basic agreement. Although play revolves around surrender, tension, power, and control, a sub always has the right and responsibility to stop as soon as a limit is reached. Because “no” or “stop” are sometimes part of role play, a neutral, unusual word is agreed upon to avoid confusion.
The best-known variant is the traffic light system:
• Green means continue
• Yellow means slow down or adjust
• Red means stop immediately
Personal word
But couples can also choose a personal word that does not appear in the game, such as “strawberry” or “candle.”
A safeword is not a sign of weakness, but of maturity. It gives both the Dominant and the sub peace of mind: the Dominant knows that everything that continues is voluntary, and the sub knows that he or she can always fall back on a clear signal.
In more intense or deprivation sessions, there is often also a non-verbal safe signal, such as tapping with the hand, because speaking is sometimes difficult or impossible. A safeword protects not only the sub, but also the Dominant. It keeps the playing field clear, fair, and safe.
Safety & points of attention
Agree on the safeword in advance.
Use a word that you would never say accidentally. “Ouch” or “stop” are therefore not good stop words, because they can be shouted unconsciously in the heat of the moment, without any actual intention to stop the game.
Provide a physical signal if speaking is difficult (for example, when wearing a gag).
Always respect the safeword. Red is red – no discussion.
Afterwards, discuss why the safeword was used, without blame or shame.
The dominant has final responsibility. A safeword is a tool, not an excuse to push the sub to the limit.
Related terms safeword
RACK
SSC
More information
