Hand over mouth
Definition
Hand over mouth (abbreviated H.O.M.) is a BDSMpractice in which the Dominant places his or her hand over the mouth of the sub to partially restrict speech, moaning, or breathing. It is a physical expression of control and silence, often used during a scene to enhance power, tension, or surrender.
Explanation Hand over mouth
Hand over mouth has a strong symbolic and physical effect. It combines the feeling of power and submission in one gesture. The Dominant literally determines when the sub is allowed to speak or breathe, which can increase the intensity of the moment. For some, this immediately evokes feelings of vulnerability or surrender, while for others it evokes deep arousal due to the physical contact and loss of control.
A hand over mouth moment can be part of a broader scene such as face sitting, interrogation play, or rough body play. The Dominant usually holds their hand firmly but in a controlled manner against the sub’s mouth, sometimes in combination with whispering, a threatening look, or other physical dominance. The sub may feel their breath briefly restricted, which can have a strong psychological effect – provided it is done safely.
The emotional impact of this action is significant: for the sub, it can feel like surrendering to something inevitable, while the Dominant bears responsibility for safety and trust. In well-matched relationships, this moment strengthens the connection between the two.
Safety & points of attention
Although hand over mouth looks simple, it does involve risks.
The nose must always be able to breathe freely. If the nose is accidentally blocked or the sub has a cold or panic attack, danger can arise.
Never keep your hand over the mouth for too long; a few seconds can be intense enough.
Agree on a clear non-verbal stop signal in advance, such as a tap on the Dominant’s arm.
If you are unsure or unfamiliar with breath-related play, it is wise to only add this action once sufficient experience and trust have been built up within the dynamic.
Related terms Hand over mouth
Breath control
Carotid sinus reflex
Choking
CSR
HOM
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