Dildo
Definition
A dildo is a non-vibrating object used for penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth during sexual or BDSMexperiences. Within BDSM, the dildo is often used as an instrument of power, training, humiliation, or possession, depending on the context and the mutual dynamics.
Explanation of dildo
The dildo is probably one of the oldest sex toys known to man. For thousands of years, people have used objects made of wood, stone, leather, or rubber to stimulate or penetrate the body. Within BDSM, however, the dildo has an additional meaning: it is not only an object of pleasure, but also of power, control, and symbolism.
For the Dominant, it is an extension of the will – a means to penetrate, punish, claim or play without being directly physically involved. For the submissive, it can be a symbol of surrender. The body is opened, filled, used or explored, depending entirely on the Dominant’s intention. Some submissives experience it as humiliating, others as healing or liberating.
Connection or submission
The experience of a dildo depends heavily on context. In a gentle, intimate session, it can be a means of connection; in a hard, dominant setting, a sign of possession or submission. The material and shape also play a role in the experience. Silicone feels warm and supple, while glass and steel feel cold and sleek. A realistic shape can enhance the feeling of penetration, while abstract shapes or extreme sizes are more focused on challenge and play.
A special aspect of dildo play within BDSM is the reversal of roles. When a Mistress or Dominant woman penetrates a man with a dildo—often with a strap-on—the play takes on powerful symbolism. The traditional image of who penetrates and who receives is reversed. Many subs experience a deep psychological tension in this: the moment when they are no longer the bearer of power, but the one who allows themselves to be taken.
Dildos are also used in combination with other forms of play, such as bondage, spanking, or humiliation. The penetration can then be part of a larger ritual of surrender. It is often not the physical sensation that is central, but the mental meaning: someone is literally penetrated, possessed, or shaped.
Safety & points of attention
Always use lubricant, especially for anal stimulation.
Clean the dildo thoroughly after each use with warm water and mild soap, or use condoms to ensure hygiene.
Pay attention to the material: non-porous silicone, glass, or stainless steel are the safest. Avoid cheap plastics containing plasticizers.
Use different dildos for vaginal and anal use to prevent contamination.
With larger dildos, it is important to build up slowly; going too fast or too deep can lead to tears or pain.
Respect mental and physical boundaries – it’s not about the object, but about the experience it creates.
Dildo play can range from tender and intimate to hard and confrontational. It is one of those toys that shows that in BDSM, it is not the object itself that is decisive, but the intention, energy, and connection between the players.
Related terms dildo
Anal play
Anal training
Lubricant
Pegging
Strap-on
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