Tease & denial
Definition
Tease and denial is a form of erotic play in which the Dominant arouses, stimulates, and brings the sub to a high level of tension, but does not allow them to climax. The game revolves around building desire, increasing control, and reinforcing mental and physical submission.
Explanation of tease & denial
Tease & denial does not focus on the act or the orgasm, but on the game in between. The Dominant deliberately plays with the tension: touching, stopping, challenging, whispering, commanding, denying. The sub is slowly brought to the point of surrender, getting closer and closer to the edge of climax, without actually reaching it. The body fills with building tension, the mind becomes softer and more receptive, and the desire shifts from “wanting to come” to “wanting to obey.”
Many subs experience tease & denial as intense because it puts them in a state where they feel everything acutely: every trace of attention, every touch, even silence or rejection. Denying an orgasm can be experienced as deeply humiliating or, conversely, deeply connecting, depending on the dynamic. For the Dominant, tease & denial is a powerful tool to strengthen control over the sub’s body and desire. The sub learns that lust is not his own but belongs to the one who leads him.
In long-term relationships, tease & denial is sometimes used to keep the tension alive throughout the day, for example through assignments, longer abstinence, or mental stimuli.
Safety and points of attention
Although tease & denial often seems gentle and playful, it has a strong psychological impact. By arousing a sub for a long time without release, the body can react intensely: tremors, frustration, emotional release, or even a feeling of overwhelm.
A Dominant must be well attuned to this. Good communication is essential, especially when tease & denial is combined with bondage, humiliation, or long periods of orgasm control.
For male subs, too long a denial without build-up or aftercare can lead to pain, prostate pressure, or temporary hypersensitivity.
It is important to gauge the intensity and watch for signs of physical or mental overload. It should also be clear whether tease & denial is part of a playful moment or a longer assignment such as chastity or edging.
Related terms tease & denial
Chastity
Edging
Orgasm
Orgasm control
Prostate milking
Ruined orgasm
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