Top
Definition
A top is the person who takes on the active, performing role during a BDSM session. A top provides the stimuli, actions, or techniques, but does not necessarily have to be a Dominant. The term refers to the function in the game, not to a fixed role in a D/s dynamic.
Explanation Top
Within BDSM, there is an important distinction between the role of a Dominant and that of a top. A Dominant leads on an energetic, mental, and relational level, while a top is primarily the one who performs the actions. A top can therefore be completely dominant, playful, equal, or even submissive. For example, someone can act as a top during an impact play session without there being a D/s relationship.
The term top is also common in couples who do not use power dynamics: one partner gives the stimulus, the other receives it. In workshops and commercial settings, the term is often used to avoid confusion between Dominance as a character role and the practical task of the person who gives the play. Many people feel more comfortable as a top than as a Dominant, precisely because it requires less psychological responsibility and is more focused on technique, care, and execution.
A top can be experienced or just starting out; it is a role that grows with knowledge, communication, and coordination.
Safety and points of attention
A top is responsible for the physical safety of the person they are playing with, even when there is no D/s dynamic. This means that knowledge of techniques, boundaries, anatomy, and consent is essential.
A top must be aware of the intensity of their actions, the areas where hitting or pinching is not allowed, and how the body reacts to pain, tension, or emotional stimuli.
Because a top does not automatically take the lead, communication may be different than with a Dominant. It is important that both partners agree in advance how they will communicate, which words or signals will be used, and when to stop.
The risk with new tops is often overestimating their own abilities or underestimating the impact of what they are doing. Check in regularly with the sub, observe body language, and provide clear aftercare.
Related terms Top
Daddy Dom
Dom/Domme
Domina
Dominant
Domspace
Master
Mistress
Service Dom
Switch
TFTB – Topping from the Bottom
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