Oral sex
Definition
Oral sex within BDSM refers to any form of sexual stimulation with the mouth, lips, or tongue. It can be gentle, loving, or dominant and forceful, depending on the dynamic. Within BDSM, oral sex often has a power component, because the Dominant determines how, when, and with what intensity it takes place.
Explanation of oral sex
Oral sex can have a completely different meaning in BDSM than in regular sexuality. Whereas outside the BDSM world it is often about mutual pleasure, here it is more often about attitude, servitude, control, or surrender.
The experience can range from tender to raw:
The sub offers themselves as a form of servile sexuality, for example by kneeling or pampering the Dominant with respect and attention.
The Dominant can use oral sex as a reward, ritual, training, or part of submission.
Some subs experience oral sex as a form of devotion, precisely because it is so direct and intimate.
Oral sex can also be combined with other forms of BDSM, such as:
- Bondage (tied-up oral surrender)
- Face sitting (the Dominant sits on the sub’s face)
- Gag play (restricted mouth movements)
- Edge play (intense, sometimes challenging forms such as deep throating – always within safe limits)
Because the body is so close and “uncovered,” oral sex in BDSM often has a strong mental impact: the sub may feel deeply humble or deeply connected, while the Dominant retains complete control.
Safety & points of attention
Oral sex seems obvious, but within BDSM it requires extra attention:
Breathing is sacred. Never force a position in which the sub cannot breathe properly.
Be aware of gag reflexes, fear triggers, and panic. Always build up to more intense forms gradually and with clear signals.
In the case of face sitting, make sure the Dominant remains alert and allows sufficient freedom of movement.
Pay attention to jaw tension during prolonged oral sex; this can quickly become painful.
Hygiene is important.
Clearly agree on what the sub does and does not want to receive (e.g., ejaculation in the mouth).
Related terms oral sex
Anolinctus – Anolingus
Blowjob
Cunnilingus
Face fucking
Face sitting
Queening
Sex
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