Nursing
Definition
Nursing refers within BDSM to a form of caring or nurturing play, in which one of the partners takes on the role of caregiver, nurse, or nurturing figure. The term comes from the English word “to nurse” – to care for, comfort, or feed – and can range from gentle, caring attention to symbolic or actual breastfeeding (adult nursing).
Explanation of nursing
Nursing revolves around intimacy, closeness, and security. It is an experience that emphasizes care, emotional safety, and physical connection, rather than pain or power. The caregiver – often the Dominant, but not always – may wash, comfort, feed, tuck in, or hold the sub.
In some relationships, nursing takes on a more ritualistic or erotic character. Think of adult nursing relationships (ANR), in which breastfeeding or suckling is part of the experience. This does not necessarily have to be sexual; for many people, it symbolizes trust, surrender, and deep peace. The breast is then not seen as a sexual object, but as a source of comfort and connection.
Ageplay
In a broader sense, nursing can also occur within ageplay (where the sub temporarily takes on a childlike role), or within aftercare, when a sub needs rest, warmth, or tenderness after an intense session. Whereas medical play is often strict, clinical, and power-oriented, nursing is gentle, earthy, and loving.
The beauty of nursing is that it shows the human side of BDSM: behind pain, power, and tension often lies a deep desire for safety and touch. In that respect, nursing is a natural counterpart and complement to heavier forms of play.
Safety & points of attention
Nursing requires emotional safety and mutual trust. It touches on vulnerability and attachment, so discuss what it means for both parties.
When practicing adult nursing, hygiene is important. Avoid cuts, infections, or skin irritation around the chest.
Be aware of the psychological impact: nursing can evoke old emotions or needs, especially when it comes to comfort, loss, or maternal energy.
Set clear boundaries: even a tender experience remains BDSM when roles and power are involved. Agree on what is and is not acceptable.
Nursing can be a wonderful form of aftercare following an intense session, but not everyone needs it. Consent and coordination remain essential.
Related terms nursing
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