No go
Definition
A no-go is a clear personal prohibition or hard limit within BDSM. It refers to actions, subjects, or forms of experience that are non-negotiable or unacceptable to someone. A no-go is therefore something that does not happen, regardless of the situation, role, or mood.
Explanation of no go
In BDSM, communication about boundaries is essential. Players often distinguish between three levels of preference:
- Green (wanted, desired, safe)
- Orange/yellow (questionable, only in certain contexts)
- Red / no go (absolutely out of the question)
A no go can relate to physical acts, such as anal penetration or breath play, but also to mental, moral, or emotional boundaries. For example, someone may indicate that humiliation, nudity, or medical themes are not desirable.
Identifying no-gos is not only intended to prevent danger, but also to create safety and trust. A Dominant who knows and respects their sub’s no-gos builds a foundation on which deeper play and surrender can develop. No-gos can change over time, but should never be ignored or questioned during a session.
Many couples or play dynamics record their no-gos in an intake form or play contract so that both parties know where the boundaries lie. This is a sign of respect, not restriction.
Safety & points of attention
Never cross a no-go, not even “to test” whether someone can handle it. This undermines trust and can lead to lasting damage.
A sub has the right to add new no-gos or revise existing boundaries.
Be alert to non-verbal signals; sometimes someone is too overwhelmed to speak, but the boundary has been reached.
For Dominants: consider knowing and monitoring no-gos as part of your responsibility and professionalism.
For submissives: be honest and specific in naming your no-gos – that is not a weakness, but a sign of self-knowledge and maturity.
Related terms no-go
Consent
Consensual
Hard limit
People-pleasing
Safeword
Sublist
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