Faker
Definition
A faker is someone who pretends to be someone else within the BDSM world. The term is used for both fake subs (men who pretend to be potential paying submissives) and fake Mistresses (women who present themselves as Dominants without experience, knowledge, or sincere intention). In both cases, it revolves around deception, lack of authenticity, and often money, attention, or status.
Explanation of faker
Unfortunately, within the commercial BDSM world, you regularly encounter so-called “faker subs”: men who present themselves as obedient, eager to learn, or respectful, but who are actually mainly looking for free attention, sexual excitement, or a disguised escort experience. They approach Mistresses with grand words about their devotion or their desire to serve, but as soon as payment is involved, they disappear. Their interest is not in genuine surrender, but in the game of getting attention without giving anything back.
An experienced Mistress can often recognize a faker by a number of signs: he talks mainly about his own fantasies, uses overly submissive language (such as “I’ll do anything for you”) even before any trust has been established, and avoids conversations about financial arrangements. He is often eager in words but not in deeds—especially when it comes to a deposit.
Undermining trust
Fakers are harmful to the commercial BDSM scene because they undermine trust. They waste the time, energy, and sometimes even emotional space of Mistresses who take their profession seriously. Some fakers have no malicious intentions, but simply do not understand what a professional BDSM relationship entails. They think that a session is just a sexual encounter, without the responsibility and preparation that goes with it.
Others are deliberately deceptive: they use fake profiles, send stolen photos, pretend to be subs to get free content or attention, or try to make arrangements without paying.
Fake Mistresses
The flip side is just as bad: women who present themselves as Mistresses without experience or knowledge, often because they want to make quick money or think that “being dominant” is just about swearing and giving orders. Some create fake websites, use stolen photos, or post ads online offering supposedly professional sessions.
A faker copies texts from others, uses AI images or stolen photos of real Dominatrixes, and tries to lure customers with seductive talk. For the serious BDSM community, these are harmful figures: they damage the trust of male subs and harm the reputation of professional Mistresses.
Safety & points of attention
As a Mistress, be alert to inconsistent behavior. A real sub shows patience, respect, and is often concise and efficient in making an appointment (not a time waster); a faker continues to demand attention or tries to convince you of his “authenticity.” Always ask for verification and/or a deposit before sharing personal information or making appointments.
Preferably work with an intake form, a (down) payment, and clear agreements about what a session entails. That automatically filters out 90% of the fakers.
Also, make sure you guard your online boundaries. Do not share private photos or personal information with someone you do not know.
Use clear communication channels and trust your intuition—if something “doesn’t feel right,” it usually isn’t. Being cautious is not a sign of mistrust; it is a sign of professionalism.
For subs: verify the authenticity of a Mistress. Ask for her website, reviews, or an introductory meeting. Real Mistresses communicate professionally, are knowledgeable about safety, and do not use stock photos or stolen images. If you have doubts, do not make any payments before you have verifiable information.
Related terms faker
Mistress
Pro Domme
Submissive
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