Collaring
Definition
Collaring is the ritual or symbolic use of a collar within BDSM, whereby the Dominant and submissive confirm their relationship. It is often seen as the equivalent of an engagement or marriage in the BDSM world.
Explanation of collaring
Collaring is one of the most meaningful rituals within BDSM culture. While a collar can serve a practical purpose during a session, collaring is primarily about symbolism: the sub wears a collar as a sign of devotion, ownership, and connection to the Dominant. The moment a collar is officially placed around the neck is often experienced as a profound affirmation of the relationship.
A collaring ceremony can be small and intimate, between just the Dom(me) and sub, but also large and public with friends or a community present. The details vary greatly: some read vows, others use ritual words or symbols that are personally meaningful to them. The core remains the same: collaring marks the transition from a non-committal dynamic to a conscious, structural commitment.
Building in phases
Within the BDSM scene, collaring is often built up in phases. For example, there may be a training collar or play collar in the early stages, followed by a formal collar as a sign of a long-term relationship. Some subs also wear a day collar in everyday life, so that the bond remains tangible outside the playroom, albeit often in a more subtle form.
The experience of collaring is intensely emotional. For the sub, it represents surrender, trust, and pride; for the Dominant, it means responsibility, care, and recognition. It is a symbol that is present every day and is often worn with great dedication.
Safety & points of attention
Make sure a collar is never too tight; the airways and blood circulation must remain unobstructed.
Leather, metal, rubber, or fabric each have their own look and comfort level. Choose what suits the situation.
Not every sub wants to or can wear a collar openly. Discuss where and when this is appropriate.
Related terms collaring
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