Auto-masochism
Definition
Automasochism is a psychological and sexual concept that refers to the experience of pain, humiliation or suffering caused by the person themselves and experienced as meaningful, satisfying or regulating. This can be both physical and emotional in nature and does not always have to have an explicit sexual component.
Explanation of automasochism
Automasochism does not primarily focus on another person, but on the relationship someone has with themselves. Unlike masochism within BDSM, where pain or humiliation is offered by another person within an agreed dynamic, auto-masochism arises from internal processes. It can manifest itself in self-criticism, self-punishing behavior, repeatedly seeking out emotional pain, or experiencing control and relief through self-imposed suffering.
For some people, automasochism functions as a way to regulate emotions, release tension, or gain control over overwhelming feelings. In other cases, guilt, shame, or a deep-rooted pattern of self-rejection plays a role. It is important to understand that automasochism is not automatically pathological, but it can be a sign of underlying psychological issues.
Within BDSM, auto-masochism is sometimes confused with solo play or self-harm. The distinction lies mainly in the intention and context. Whereas solo play within BDSM is often conscious, ritualistic, and limited, auto-masochism lacks that external structure and mutual agreement. This is precisely what makes it a complex and layered concept.
Safety & points of attention
Automasochism requires careful self-reflection. When self-imposed suffering is used structurally to suppress emotions or when it leads to physical or psychological damage, professional support is recommended. Important points of attention are:
Recognizing the difference between a consciously chosen experience and automatic self-punishment.
Being alert to patterns of shame, guilt, and self-contempt.
The lack of external boundaries and aftercare.
The risk that auto-masochism can escalate unnoticed.
Within loving BDSM and professional guidance, it is often emphasized that pain and intensity should never be a substitute for emotional care, connection, or processing. Mental safety starts with honesty towards yourself.
Related concepts auto-masochism
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