Aftercare
Definition
Aftercare in BDSM refers to the care and attention that Dominant and submissive give each other after a session. The goal is to restore both physical and emotional balance, ensure safety, and conclude the experience in a healthy manner.
Explanation of aftercare
Aftercare is an essential part of the BDSM experience. During a session, boundaries are explored, emotions are released, and physical stimuli are experienced that can have a significant impact. The body often responds with a high dose of adrenaline and endorphins. When these substances subside afterwards, a ‘subdrop’ can occur: feelings of emptiness, sadness, or physical fatigue. The Dominant may experience a similar reaction, sometimes called a ‘Domdrop’, in which the intensity of the session suddenly turns into fatigue or doubt.
Aftercare helps to cushion these reactions. This can take various forms, depending on the person and the dynamic. Think of a warm blanket, having a drink together, a hug, or just rest and quiet. Sometimes a short conversation is important to interpret emotions or exchange feedback. Others need practical care, such as cleaning wounds or applying cream to red skin.
Aftercare is tailor-made
It is important that aftercare is not a fixed list, but tailor-made. What is necessary for one sub may feel unnecessary for another. That is why aftercare should always be part of the conversation about wishes, boundaries, and consent before playing. Aftercare can also extend to the days after, for example by getting in touch or sending a message. This strengthens the bond and builds long-term trust.
Aftercare is therefore not only practical, but also a form of recognition: you see and respect each other in the vulnerability that a BDSM experience evokes.
Safety & points of attention
Agree in advance what form of aftercare is desired or necessary.
Be alert to signs of subdrop or Domdrop, both immediately after the session and in the days that follow.
Provide basic amenities such as water, sugar, warm blankets, and a quiet environment.
Keep in mind that aftercare can also be emotional: a listening ear is just as important as physical care.
Stay in touch, even after the session, to check how the other person is feeling.
Related terms aftercare
Subdorp
Safety
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