Masochism
Definition
Masochism is the experience of pleasure, excitement, or emotional fulfillment through receiving pain, humiliation, submission, or control. Within BDSM, it refers to the experience of the sub who does not perceive stimuli such as hitting, scratching, pinching, or humiliation as punishment or harm, but as a source of intensity, surrender, or connection.
Explanation of masochism
The term masochism is derived from the Austrian writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (1836–1895), who described the erotic tension between power and submission in his novel Venus im Pelz (Venus in Furs). His name was later used by the psychiatrist Krafft-Ebing to describe this form of sexual experience.
Within BDSM, masochism is not a deviation or disorder, but a conscious choice and part of a consensual dynamic. It is not about pain itself, but about what pain does – physically, mentally and emotionally. For many masochists, pain is a language of intense contact: every blow, bite or prick is a way to connect more deeply with the Dominant and with their own body. Pain therefore becomes not an enemy, but a gateway to surrender, letting go, and sometimes even euphoria.
During intense sessions, the body produces endorphins – substances produced by the body that alleviate pain and induce a feeling of calm or happiness. This can make pain seem addictive, although in reality it is the combination of physical sensation, emotional release, and deep bonding that is addictive. For some, masochism is meditative, for others confrontational or even spiritual. The experience differs per person, but it is always based on voluntary surrender and mutual respect.
Safety & points of attention
Masochistic games require knowledge, technique, and careful communication.
The sub must be free to set boundaries, even during the game.
Use clear safe words and make sure the Dominant can read the sub’s physical signals well—breathing, muscle tension, skin color, and facial expressions are often more reliable than words.
Avoid risky areas such as the kidneys, neck, joints, and spine.
Start gently, build up stimuli, and work with materials that are in good condition.
Clean whips, paddles, or clamps carefully after use to prevent infections.
Emotional safety is just as important. Pain can trigger deep emotions: shame, sadness, liberation, or intense happiness. Aftercare is essential – provide comfort, warmth, and closeness to complete the experience.
When masochism becomes unbalanced (for example, if someone seeks pain to mask self-hatred or no longer feels boundaries), it is wise to discuss this with an experienced Dominant or therapist with knowledge of BDSM.
Related terms masochism
Leopold von Sacher-Masoch
Maso
Masochist
Sade de Marquis
Sadism
SM
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